Its just past 4AM and I just arrived at my parents' home. I drove from Canada home, all 15 hours of it today so naturally I had a lot of time to think. One of the subjects I pondered isn't any new idea that someone else hasn't had before nor was it a revelation for myself either, but I thought about it a lot. When I crossed the border I called my mother because she likes to hear from me as soon as I'm in country. Unfortunately I was sarcastic in my response to some legitimate questions and I could tell, even over the phone, that I had hurt her. In a way, I know my mother loves me so much because of how much I hurt her from time to time. Let me explain. Have you ever had someone you loved spurn your love? Whether it be a family member, a friend, a significant other, the closer a person is to you when they don't respond to your love or worse reject it the more it hurts. Say for example you're engaged to be married and your fiance calls it off the week of the wedding. Can you or I really imagine the pain and turmoil going on in that person's heart and mind? We all have experienced this kind of pain from time to time and in varying degrees. It gives us a glimpse into other people's situations and feelings when it happens to them, even God's. Can you imagine the pain and hurt he feels whenever a person that Christ died for rejects his love and continues to live in sin? It is unimaginable the heartache God must feel for every single person that does not yet know him! But the most amazing part is he doesn't give up and throw in the towel because of heartache rather he continues to call and woo and love even though some will never turn to him so that a few might be saved. What love is that! I know my inclination in these kinds of situations is to give up and try in every way to squash out the pain I feel, but God doesn't turn away from the pain we cause him and rather redoubles his efforts. I think of the saying, "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." I'd rather say, "It is better to love and continue to love no matter the obstacle, heartache, and betrayal." So that is my motivation to love, that God has loved us and continued to love us in all our pain and His pain, and I pray I will try to love time and time again person after person in spite of the pains of my past and overcome the fears caused by that pain.
The second interesting topic I thought of was nothing. I don't mean I wasn't thinking about anything but rather trying to wrap my mind around the absence of anything (or everything). Just like infinite things(used as a semantic component, not saying God isn't a person) like God, we finite beings have trouble comprehending nothing. Often when we try to think about 'nothing' we think about empty space, that is the vacuum of space outside the boundaries of our globe. But there is a problem with that because it is not truly nothing. Space is something, it has dimensions and is there. It is not the absence of everything, simply the absence of physical matter, but it is still there. So then, is there really such a thing as nothing? This line of thought sparked from a song that stated, "Without you I am nothing" referring to God. I thought about how true that is. Without God no matter, no soul, not even space and time would exist(if you want to get into a discussion with me sometime about whether space and time was created please do its an interesting one). There would unequivocally be 'nothing' in its truest sense. Before God created the cosmos, there was nothing. There was a void, an emptiness, a nothing that pervaded everywhere(not exactly accurate, but like I said understanding and especially encoding 'nothing' in language is especially difficult and in this case I could think of no way to describe outside of God without referring to space though there was no such thing at that time(or dear there I did it again)) but God. Therein lies the rub. God must be so powerful that nothingness could be overcome. From a human standpoint we can only ever manipulate what is already here, never truly create. But for God to speak 'nothing' into 'something' is on the level of incomprehensibility that infinity and nothing both exist(this is getting frustrating referring to nothing as if it is something). Its truly amazing and my brain is running in circles just trying to get my head around it right now and my brain is starting to hurt. I recommend you don't try to think about this too long or you may make yourself go mad, but it is an interesting illustration of God's might and power.
For His Glorious Name,