Unworthy of Stewardship

I opened my hands this morning and realized that God has entrusted into my hands not only tasks, but the lives of others. In particular I think about the heart of my Beloved Brenda. I hold it in my hands. She is submitting herself to my leadership. She is following me. As we grow and figure out what that really means I just think about the responsibility placed in my hands and the ability given to me by her and God. What scares me most I think is that with her heart in my hands I have the ability to crush it. But truth be told, in that respect she has the same ability with my own heart.

But thats just it, when it comes down to it, we're all blubbering idiots. The responsibilities God has placed in our hands are beyond us. We are not worthy of the stewardship we've been entrusted with. With her heart in my hands, I will inevitably cause it damage, hopefully not crush it, but nevertheless I will hurt her. Not to try to justify it in some way by any kind of "I told you it would happen" scenario, but rather the recognition of the fact that I don't know what the heck I'm doing. I can't even be trusted with my own heart. I've caused so much damage even to my own heart that I can't reasonably expect that I won't hurt her as well. But still God has entrusted us with these kinds of things. We are not worthy. We are not capable. And yet He gives us these things. Because He loves us. And He will empower us. When I fail, it is because of my own shortcomings. Oh, but when I succeed! Glory be to God, for it is through Him and His Spirit that success is ever possible, even plausible. For when I relinquish lordship in my own life, these hands cease to be mine and become His. That is when her heart will be safe, nourished, cherished, and strengthened. By giving Him my hands to use as He wills, I no longer fear, but rejoice.

Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my hands and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love.

Take my feet and let them be
Swift and Beautiful for Thee;
Take my voice and let me sing,
Always only for my King.

Take my lips and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee;
Take my silver and my gold,
Not a mite would I withhold.

Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in endless praise;
Take my intellect and use
Every pow’r as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will and make it Thine,
It shall be no longer mine;
Take my heart, it is Thine own,
It shall be Thy royal throne.

Take my love, my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure store;
Take myself and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee.

Frances R. Havergal "Take My Life and Let It Be"

For His Glorious Name,
Jason