Keeping our mouths shut is something humans have a lot of trouble doing in general. Especially for anyone who knows me I talk quite a bit and have an opinion on just about everything. I'm the guy who has to answer every question in class and wants to be the one to explain, which I am sure is a hassle to everyone else. Its something I'm working on, but its a long way in coming. But there is a much more difficult circumstance to keep silent, in the face of accusation. My natural inclination is to defend myself and set the record straight, especially if the accusations someone makes are untrue. Whatever the motive for these accusations, sincerity, to get under my skin, to retaliate against me or someone else, or whatever it may be it is the most difficult time to say nothing. And yet that is exactly what Jesus did. He made no statements to rebuke the lies being hurled at him during his "trial". I can't even imagine how infuriated being accused in such a way would make me. It boils my blood just thinking about it. I need to keep my mouth shut. I need to learn to be silent and listen. I need to temper my desire to defend myself with the knowledge that the true judge knows the false accusations made against me and the sins that have never been accused by another human. I don't have to defend myself, because Jesus already has.
For His Glorious Name,
Jason
Added 5/19/11
I also was thinking that perceived accusations have the same effect. Sometimes we think we're being accused or our own conscience is accusing us and we start to defend ourselves against someone, often whom we love because of our own inward accusations. When I do this I get so angry with myself because then I hurt those that I love. Even more reason for me to learn to keep my mouth shut.
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
Sunday, 15 May 2011
Ignorance
Sometimes God has to hit me over the head with my own ignorance and remind me that we all are ignorant. Ignorance is the lack of knowledge and information about anything. Many guys are ignorant of the inner workings of a woman's mind. I am ignorant of the principles of Botany, Business, Human Kinetics, Romance, and many other subjects in varying degrees. One of the funniest things I find when I think about this is how we can be ignorant of our own ignorance. That leads to pride in what we do know, which is so very little. We've been given access to what we need to know in life in various forms and by various methods which ultimately find their source in God whether it be our parents or the Bible. But even then we often fail to acquire much of what we have access to. And then there is so much more beyond what we even have access to. The grandiose ignorance we all have boggles my mind and it humbles me. Even Job, a great man of God, had to be reminded of how small he was and how little he knew. I have to continually be reminded of this the more I learn especially since I've been gifted with above average intelligence and drive to acquire knowledge. The moment I lose perspective on my ignorance is the moment pride takes root and begins to destroy not only my relationships but that which I am seeking through education, knowledge. Pride is a hindrance to learning, not a help, and the best antidote to this kind of pride for me is awareness of myself. I also wonder how ignorant I am of my very self, something I should be fairly knowledgeable about, and yet I suspect even in that respect I know very little.
For His Glorious Name,
Jason
For His Glorious Name,
Jason
Saturday, 7 May 2011
When God isn't speaking. . . . .
I've noticed a correlation in the frequency of my journals and when God is speaking to me. I also need to clarify, I believe when we don't hear God speaking, its because we're not listening. My last journal entry was from April 20th. When I have my ears open, like when I'm on the mission field, my journal entries are daily, sometime twice daily. Its in those times I'm not complacent and have struggles that I daily must go to God with. I believe that complacency is one of the most dangerous things for a Christian. It deafens our ears and blinds our eyes. Well, today God spoke to me loudly and in various ways. I've been going through a drought the past few weeks as I went numb. I sometimes go numb from my emotions and spirit when I have little to do. While I am home that is the case. Before Christ I was a generally numb person with little connection to my emotions or my spirit, and this tendency is an after effect of that lifestyle. Its become less and less, but it is still a struggle for me. Anyhow, so my parents are away and I am home alone with a sister who sleeps most of the day, not that it matters because I spend almost all of my time in my room on this laptop. I have some things to do like turn on the sprinklers every couple of days or mow the lawn. My most regular thing to do is running, where God started shouting into my nearly deaf ears. Through everything he has said today, the one resounding refrain has been, "I am with you." Let me share.
Today was a long run, and I was aiming for 90 minutes. I know a hill nearby that takes me about 30 minutes to go up and come back down, so I figured three repeats would do nicely. Two-thirds of the way up this hill I had an episode. These episodes are hard to describe, but I will try with some background. A few years ago I was working on my undergrad going to school full-time, working full-time, running on the Cross Country & Track teams, and I joined the school Jazz Ensemble. I was spread way too thin. I got an average of about 4 hours of sleep a night when all of those things were going on. There is only so much the human body and mind can take, and I reached those limits. Maybe it was similar to a nervous breakdown, but ultimately I had to quit my job or quit school and I felt very strongly about the direction God was leading me with that. So I quit working, which raised other strains of life but not as big as previously. Anyhow it was after that I started having these "episodes." They are instances, usually when I'm running, but not always, where my vision narrows (not blacking out or anything like that, but my focus narrows to a point though I am still aware of my surroundings) and I have a strange sensation out to my limbs and a strange taste in my mouth. I then feel like all the energy drops out of me and I am all alone in the world. Its like everything important to me suddenly isn't and I have no desire for anything at all. At first these episodes were maybe once a week but became progressively intermittent to the point where before today its been a very long time since I've had one that I can't remember when. But this one was different. I felt all the same things and usually when it happens while I run I have to stop soon after with all my energy and motivation gone. I prayed a simple prayer, "Lord give me the strength and the will to keep running." I soon returned to normal without the usual after effects and hadn't even stopped running. I soon realized it was less of an "episode" and more of a "You need me. You are not alone, I am with you." from God. Not only for running mind you, but for everything. Which spoke to my greatest need that I wasn't even aware of, my loneliness. Furthermore as I neared the summit there was a bike race going on up that same hill and there were volunteers some of which were from Will C. Wood High School. An old friend and competitor from High School, Cheynne is not coaching that team and he was there. He may not realize, but God placed him there in part to say to me, "You are not alone." as I gave him my number and hopefully we will run together several times before I return to Canada. Today did not stop there. Coming home rejuvenated from a workout that should have leveled me and listening more clearly to God I got some things done that needed doing so I could go to church at Bridgeway in Rocklin.
Even the songs on the radio as I drove to church spoke directly to me and reminded me of His presence in my life that I had been numbing out. I even began to cry on some of the songs, which for me doesn't happen very often because I'm not a terribly emotional person. The emotions overwhelmed me even more when worship started at church. The songs I were familiar with like "I Am Free" by the Newsboys were making it so that I couldn't accurately hit any notes because of the emotion. There were two new songs to me as well that spoke directly to me. Here are the lyrics for "Love Came Down" by Brian Johnson, I've bolded a couple of the lines that really hit me.
Verse 1
If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear your voice
I hold onto what is true, though I cannot see
If the storms of life they come, and the road ahead gets steep
I will lift these hands in faith, I will believe
Pre-Chorus
I Remind myself of all that you’ve done
And the life I have because of your son
Chorus
Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am yours
I am forever yours
Mountain high or valley low
I sing out and remind my soul
I am yours
I am forever yours
Verse 2
When my heart is filled with hope, and every promise comes my way
When I feel your hands of grace, rest upon me
Staying desperate for you God, Staying humbled at your feet
I will lift these hands and praise, I will believe
Then there was Forever Reign by Hillsong United. Specifically the lines "I am running to your arms. I am running to your arms." The references to mountains, running, being overwhelmed, hearing, all of those things couldn't be coincidence. Actually let me be clear on this point, I don't believe in coincidence. There is meaning in everything, sometimes the meaning is no connection between the circumstances, but in something like this is so clear to me that there isn't any lack of connection. Let me restate that without using a double negative. There has to be a connection between the words of these songs and the way God has chosen to speak to me this day. There is one other thing, the lyric "I remind myself of all you've done" is the reason I even keep a journal or write anything like this. When God speaks so clearly, I must remember that it was so clear. If I don't write it down it is so easy for Satan to try and convince me I was making a bigger deal out of it than it was. So when things like this happen, I write them down as quickly as possible so I can read them later and remember.
And it goes on. The sermon by Lance this evening was, in my opinion, the best I've ever heard from him. It was on 1 Samuel 17, one of the most loved and well-known stories of all time, David and Goliath. I won't even try to do justice to his sermon. If you want to listen to it you can easily enough find it at Bridgeway Christian Church. It may take up to a week for it to be posted. The thing that I can tell you is how David focused on the name of God and that because God was with him, no man, Giant or no, could stand against him and his God. I serve the same God, and that same power, strength, and courage is available to me as well. So all of today He has been again and again telling me, "I am with you." Thats about as much encouragement as a man can possibly take. What has God been speaking to you? Have you been listening?
For His Glorious Name,
Jason
P.S. I bolded hope because it is a topic I've been thinking on lately and will likely talk about in the near future.
Today was a long run, and I was aiming for 90 minutes. I know a hill nearby that takes me about 30 minutes to go up and come back down, so I figured three repeats would do nicely. Two-thirds of the way up this hill I had an episode. These episodes are hard to describe, but I will try with some background. A few years ago I was working on my undergrad going to school full-time, working full-time, running on the Cross Country & Track teams, and I joined the school Jazz Ensemble. I was spread way too thin. I got an average of about 4 hours of sleep a night when all of those things were going on. There is only so much the human body and mind can take, and I reached those limits. Maybe it was similar to a nervous breakdown, but ultimately I had to quit my job or quit school and I felt very strongly about the direction God was leading me with that. So I quit working, which raised other strains of life but not as big as previously. Anyhow it was after that I started having these "episodes." They are instances, usually when I'm running, but not always, where my vision narrows (not blacking out or anything like that, but my focus narrows to a point though I am still aware of my surroundings) and I have a strange sensation out to my limbs and a strange taste in my mouth. I then feel like all the energy drops out of me and I am all alone in the world. Its like everything important to me suddenly isn't and I have no desire for anything at all. At first these episodes were maybe once a week but became progressively intermittent to the point where before today its been a very long time since I've had one that I can't remember when. But this one was different. I felt all the same things and usually when it happens while I run I have to stop soon after with all my energy and motivation gone. I prayed a simple prayer, "Lord give me the strength and the will to keep running." I soon returned to normal without the usual after effects and hadn't even stopped running. I soon realized it was less of an "episode" and more of a "You need me. You are not alone, I am with you." from God. Not only for running mind you, but for everything. Which spoke to my greatest need that I wasn't even aware of, my loneliness. Furthermore as I neared the summit there was a bike race going on up that same hill and there were volunteers some of which were from Will C. Wood High School. An old friend and competitor from High School, Cheynne is not coaching that team and he was there. He may not realize, but God placed him there in part to say to me, "You are not alone." as I gave him my number and hopefully we will run together several times before I return to Canada. Today did not stop there. Coming home rejuvenated from a workout that should have leveled me and listening more clearly to God I got some things done that needed doing so I could go to church at Bridgeway in Rocklin.
Even the songs on the radio as I drove to church spoke directly to me and reminded me of His presence in my life that I had been numbing out. I even began to cry on some of the songs, which for me doesn't happen very often because I'm not a terribly emotional person. The emotions overwhelmed me even more when worship started at church. The songs I were familiar with like "I Am Free" by the Newsboys were making it so that I couldn't accurately hit any notes because of the emotion. There were two new songs to me as well that spoke directly to me. Here are the lyrics for "Love Came Down" by Brian Johnson, I've bolded a couple of the lines that really hit me.
Verse 1
If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear your voice
I hold onto what is true, though I cannot see
If the storms of life they come, and the road ahead gets steep
I will lift these hands in faith, I will believe
Pre-Chorus
I Remind myself of all that you’ve done
And the life I have because of your son
Chorus
Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am yours
I am forever yours
Mountain high or valley low
I sing out and remind my soul
I am yours
I am forever yours
Verse 2
When my heart is filled with hope, and every promise comes my way
When I feel your hands of grace, rest upon me
Staying desperate for you God, Staying humbled at your feet
I will lift these hands and praise, I will believe
Then there was Forever Reign by Hillsong United. Specifically the lines "I am running to your arms. I am running to your arms." The references to mountains, running, being overwhelmed, hearing, all of those things couldn't be coincidence. Actually let me be clear on this point, I don't believe in coincidence. There is meaning in everything, sometimes the meaning is no connection between the circumstances, but in something like this is so clear to me that there isn't any lack of connection. Let me restate that without using a double negative. There has to be a connection between the words of these songs and the way God has chosen to speak to me this day. There is one other thing, the lyric "I remind myself of all you've done" is the reason I even keep a journal or write anything like this. When God speaks so clearly, I must remember that it was so clear. If I don't write it down it is so easy for Satan to try and convince me I was making a bigger deal out of it than it was. So when things like this happen, I write them down as quickly as possible so I can read them later and remember.
And it goes on. The sermon by Lance this evening was, in my opinion, the best I've ever heard from him. It was on 1 Samuel 17, one of the most loved and well-known stories of all time, David and Goliath. I won't even try to do justice to his sermon. If you want to listen to it you can easily enough find it at Bridgeway Christian Church. It may take up to a week for it to be posted. The thing that I can tell you is how David focused on the name of God and that because God was with him, no man, Giant or no, could stand against him and his God. I serve the same God, and that same power, strength, and courage is available to me as well. So all of today He has been again and again telling me, "I am with you." Thats about as much encouragement as a man can possibly take. What has God been speaking to you? Have you been listening?
For His Glorious Name,
Jason
P.S. I bolded hope because it is a topic I've been thinking on lately and will likely talk about in the near future.
Monday, 2 May 2011
Tongwe
Over the past few months I've had a particular people group on my heart to pray for and promote. They call themselves the Tongwe. As you probably know I've been to Tanzania twice for the summers of '08 and '09. On my second trip I worked with a man named Tori and his mission these past few years has been to reach the Tongwe and related peoples like the Bende, Rungwa, and Pimbwe. Recently Wycliffe started a cluster project to start Bible Translation on these four peoples as well. One of the friends I made and worked with that summer was Musa, a Tongwe Christian who wants to build the Church among his people and bring the light of life to them. The Tongwe however have historically been a stronghold of Satan as only in the past few years have there been any believers among their people. They are primarily Muslim (though in name only) and have been told many lies about Christianity and Jesus. A few years ago Tori's team partnered with a Tanzanian evangelist as they tried to reach this group. As they preached the Muslims started a riot and sought to kill the evangelists and destroy everything. By God's power they did not kill anyone. When the riot started the evangelist told his team to evacuate as he stayed up on the stage. However, God masked him from them as they could not perceive him nor harm him destroying all of their equipment around him but leaving him alone even though they were searching for him urgently. God masked him from their eyes. So now Tori has another plan this summer. He wants to build a road to these people, both metaphorically and physically. They are some of the poorest people in Tanzania being fairly remote with no access to commercial centers other than by a long boat ride that is dangerous. So the plan is to build a road for these people so they can more safely and quickly have access to commercial centers and improve their economy and access to medical resources as well as other necessities. If you've read this far, then please read this next sentence very carefully. Please consider praying for Tori, his team, and the Tongwe people especially this summer as they build the road. If you would like to support this project, please let me know and I can help coordinate that effort. If you would like to know more about the Tongwe people, take a look at some of the links below:
Joshua Project
Ethnologue
The Word is Life
and some more general information about Tanzania:
CIA Factbook
AllAfrica.com
and an article written by Tori's father for your consideration:
Are The Times Too Tough for Missions?
There is also a web site that Tori set up for the project specifically. For security purposes it is password protected so it would not be a good idea for me to post the username and password online on a public blog, but if you are interested in taking a look at the project further then e-mail me, talk to me, or call me and I can give the information to you.
For His Glorious Name,
Jason
Joshua Project
Ethnologue
The Word is Life
and some more general information about Tanzania:
CIA Factbook
AllAfrica.com
and an article written by Tori's father for your consideration:
Are The Times Too Tough for Missions?
There is also a web site that Tori set up for the project specifically. For security purposes it is password protected so it would not be a good idea for me to post the username and password online on a public blog, but if you are interested in taking a look at the project further then e-mail me, talk to me, or call me and I can give the information to you.
For His Glorious Name,
Jason
Sunday, 1 May 2011
Jesus in my heart
I just came home from church and there has been something grating on my mind for the past week and especially during today's service. It concerns the life of Jesus, where he resides now. While the pastor speaks with the kids each Sunday the past two Sundays they have used the phrase "He is in our hearts" in response to the question, "where is he?" Though I do not fully disagree with the statement and I understand the metaphor as it pertains to explaining God's presence in our lives to our children. However it grates against my reason and it is incomplete, but many people as they grow up in their faith do not grow up in their knowledge of God's presence. They continue to hold on to the comforting thought of Jesus being in our hearts. Here is my problem, that is not the only place he is. He is on his throne in heaven. He is working around the world preparing the way for His servants to do His work where a Christian presence is not known yet. He is in a great many places other than our hearts. Actually if you want to be theologically accurate, it is the presence of the Holy Spirit in us, but that is another discussion. When you stop at Jesus is in our hearts, then you introduce a whole host of problems such as what then is the difference between us saying this and the comfort we offer to children when loved ones have died and we tell them, "They live on in our hearts." When we say "Jesus lives on in our hearts" without saying any more we inadvertently deny the resurrection because to the North American culture, living on in our hearts does not entail physical, spiritual, or any kind of life. Rather is signifies memory, that we remember and cherish that person. Also if he lives on in the hearts of those who believe, then to them he lives, but we can not say to the unbeliever he lives because he does not live in their hearts. Ultimately it comes down to the problem of subjectivity. When we say "Jesus lives in our hearts" it is a subjective matter to each individual as He may or may not be present in the hearts of others. But Jesus death, resurrection, and ascension to His throne are not merely subjective truths, but objective realities that are true for the believer and unbeliever alike. They are not subject to the beliefs of a person. So just keep this in mind any time you say, "Jesus lives on in you and in me" and realize that there is so much more going on than just that. Remember His authority and presence in heaven and on earth. Remember that your heart is not the only place he resides.
For His Glorious Name,
Jason
For His Glorious Name,
Jason
Wednesday, 20 April 2011
A long drive
Its just past 4AM and I just arrived at my parents' home. I drove from Canada home, all 15 hours of it today so naturally I had a lot of time to think. One of the subjects I pondered isn't any new idea that someone else hasn't had before nor was it a revelation for myself either, but I thought about it a lot. When I crossed the border I called my mother because she likes to hear from me as soon as I'm in country. Unfortunately I was sarcastic in my response to some legitimate questions and I could tell, even over the phone, that I had hurt her. In a way, I know my mother loves me so much because of how much I hurt her from time to time. Let me explain. Have you ever had someone you loved spurn your love? Whether it be a family member, a friend, a significant other, the closer a person is to you when they don't respond to your love or worse reject it the more it hurts. Say for example you're engaged to be married and your fiance calls it off the week of the wedding. Can you or I really imagine the pain and turmoil going on in that person's heart and mind? We all have experienced this kind of pain from time to time and in varying degrees. It gives us a glimpse into other people's situations and feelings when it happens to them, even God's. Can you imagine the pain and hurt he feels whenever a person that Christ died for rejects his love and continues to live in sin? It is unimaginable the heartache God must feel for every single person that does not yet know him! But the most amazing part is he doesn't give up and throw in the towel because of heartache rather he continues to call and woo and love even though some will never turn to him so that a few might be saved. What love is that! I know my inclination in these kinds of situations is to give up and try in every way to squash out the pain I feel, but God doesn't turn away from the pain we cause him and rather redoubles his efforts. I think of the saying, "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." I'd rather say, "It is better to love and continue to love no matter the obstacle, heartache, and betrayal." So that is my motivation to love, that God has loved us and continued to love us in all our pain and His pain, and I pray I will try to love time and time again person after person in spite of the pains of my past and overcome the fears caused by that pain.
The second interesting topic I thought of was nothing. I don't mean I wasn't thinking about anything but rather trying to wrap my mind around the absence of anything (or everything). Just like infinite things(used as a semantic component, not saying God isn't a person) like God, we finite beings have trouble comprehending nothing. Often when we try to think about 'nothing' we think about empty space, that is the vacuum of space outside the boundaries of our globe. But there is a problem with that because it is not truly nothing. Space is something, it has dimensions and is there. It is not the absence of everything, simply the absence of physical matter, but it is still there. So then, is there really such a thing as nothing? This line of thought sparked from a song that stated, "Without you I am nothing" referring to God. I thought about how true that is. Without God no matter, no soul, not even space and time would exist(if you want to get into a discussion with me sometime about whether space and time was created please do its an interesting one). There would unequivocally be 'nothing' in its truest sense. Before God created the cosmos, there was nothing. There was a void, an emptiness, a nothing that pervaded everywhere(not exactly accurate, but like I said understanding and especially encoding 'nothing' in language is especially difficult and in this case I could think of no way to describe outside of God without referring to space though there was no such thing at that time(or dear there I did it again)) but God. Therein lies the rub. God must be so powerful that nothingness could be overcome. From a human standpoint we can only ever manipulate what is already here, never truly create. But for God to speak 'nothing' into 'something' is on the level of incomprehensibility that infinity and nothing both exist(this is getting frustrating referring to nothing as if it is something). Its truly amazing and my brain is running in circles just trying to get my head around it right now and my brain is starting to hurt. I recommend you don't try to think about this too long or you may make yourself go mad, but it is an interesting illustration of God's might and power.
For His Glorious Name,
Jason
The second interesting topic I thought of was nothing. I don't mean I wasn't thinking about anything but rather trying to wrap my mind around the absence of anything (or everything). Just like infinite things(used as a semantic component, not saying God isn't a person) like God, we finite beings have trouble comprehending nothing. Often when we try to think about 'nothing' we think about empty space, that is the vacuum of space outside the boundaries of our globe. But there is a problem with that because it is not truly nothing. Space is something, it has dimensions and is there. It is not the absence of everything, simply the absence of physical matter, but it is still there. So then, is there really such a thing as nothing? This line of thought sparked from a song that stated, "Without you I am nothing" referring to God. I thought about how true that is. Without God no matter, no soul, not even space and time would exist(if you want to get into a discussion with me sometime about whether space and time was created please do its an interesting one). There would unequivocally be 'nothing' in its truest sense. Before God created the cosmos, there was nothing. There was a void, an emptiness, a nothing that pervaded everywhere(not exactly accurate, but like I said understanding and especially encoding 'nothing' in language is especially difficult and in this case I could think of no way to describe outside of God without referring to space though there was no such thing at that time(or dear there I did it again)) but God. Therein lies the rub. God must be so powerful that nothingness could be overcome. From a human standpoint we can only ever manipulate what is already here, never truly create. But for God to speak 'nothing' into 'something' is on the level of incomprehensibility that infinity and nothing both exist(this is getting frustrating referring to nothing as if it is something). Its truly amazing and my brain is running in circles just trying to get my head around it right now and my brain is starting to hurt. I recommend you don't try to think about this too long or you may make yourself go mad, but it is an interesting illustration of God's might and power.
For His Glorious Name,
Jason
Saturday, 9 April 2011
Perspective
I had just picked up my dear friends Kyle and Amanda from the airport (or was it taking them to it?) and we were talking about wanting to go on a hike together. They brought up a hike we had gone on, the four of us, wanting to go there again. Our band of four hand dwindled down to three by then, and the pain was still there. They apologized as they realized the implications. But I had a different perspective. I said, "I've learned over my few short years on earth that we can't live our lives avoiding things because of a painful memory, we must make new memories." I'd learned that lesson a few years before because of music. It wasn't something written in any song I've heard, but rather an experience with a particular song. I do not remember what song it was. You know how certain memories can attach to people, places, or songs? We attach emotions and memories to these things and whenever we encounter them it brings the memory back up whether good or bad. Well, what I learned was that we can reassign emotions and memories to songs and other things. It was from my sheer stubbornness I discovered this as a song I had associated some bad memories with was one that I liked so despite the pain it caused me I chose to keep listening to it. Over time some good things happened that I associated with the song and no longer did it bring up negative emotions or memories. Anyhow, I say all of this simply to set the stage.
I find it funny how some memories that some people might consider bad I am very fond of and that make me glad. I find it amusing that I am already writing another blog so soon after my first, but it could not be helped. I went for a night run tonight and I was bombarded with memories as I ran. It was cool and pleasant as I ran in the dark toward a road that I run on quite often. I like to run on this road at night because of the general lack of street lights. I often get lost in my prayers and the pleasure of running down this dark street. What I encountered surprised me. Even as I started out my ankle was hurting a little bit. I haven't been running as often as I should, so my body is weaker than it should be. I injured my ankle in Tanzania two summers ago, and unless I keep up on my running, the ankle grows weak and aches when I start running again. That made me think of Tanzania. As I ran along the dark street I was reminded of a particular night after fellowship, games, snacks, and prayer at a missionary's house I rode most of the way to the place I was staying with another missionary as her companion since she didn't particularly want to drive home alone. I then walked from her place to mine in the dark, and running down the street reminded me of that. The ditches along the side of this street reminded me of the ditches along the streets in Tanzania. Even some of the odors on my run reminded me. Here is my point. The pain of my ankle and the stench of trash should normally be bad memories, something people generally want to forget. Yet I cling to these as good memories reminding me of a time where I was closer to Christ than I've ever been before or since. It is all a matter of perspective. I hope I can have the perspective of Christ.
For His Glorious Name,
Jason Carwile
I find it funny how some memories that some people might consider bad I am very fond of and that make me glad. I find it amusing that I am already writing another blog so soon after my first, but it could not be helped. I went for a night run tonight and I was bombarded with memories as I ran. It was cool and pleasant as I ran in the dark toward a road that I run on quite often. I like to run on this road at night because of the general lack of street lights. I often get lost in my prayers and the pleasure of running down this dark street. What I encountered surprised me. Even as I started out my ankle was hurting a little bit. I haven't been running as often as I should, so my body is weaker than it should be. I injured my ankle in Tanzania two summers ago, and unless I keep up on my running, the ankle grows weak and aches when I start running again. That made me think of Tanzania. As I ran along the dark street I was reminded of a particular night after fellowship, games, snacks, and prayer at a missionary's house I rode most of the way to the place I was staying with another missionary as her companion since she didn't particularly want to drive home alone. I then walked from her place to mine in the dark, and running down the street reminded me of that. The ditches along the side of this street reminded me of the ditches along the streets in Tanzania. Even some of the odors on my run reminded me. Here is my point. The pain of my ankle and the stench of trash should normally be bad memories, something people generally want to forget. Yet I cling to these as good memories reminding me of a time where I was closer to Christ than I've ever been before or since. It is all a matter of perspective. I hope I can have the perspective of Christ.
For His Glorious Name,
Jason Carwile
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